What is the most important result you want to create after you reset your mindset?
That’s the real question. And for most people, the answer doesn’t come while ticking off goals or chasing the next thing. It shows up when life knocks the wind out of you.
For me, it started just before COVID. I was in a demanding executive role—high pressure, high expectations, big title. At the same time, I was taking my dad to chemo every week. That time together felt important. It grounded me.
Then lockdowns hit, and I couldn’t be there in person anymore.
Eighteen months later, he passed away.
I remember sitting in the quiet, thinking: “Is this really how I want to keep living?”
The career I had built no longer made sense. It looked good on paper, but I no longer felt connected to it. I didn’t just want less stress. I wanted more time with the people I love. I wanted to live with purpose. I wanted my day-to-day life to actually feel like mine.
That was my reset moment.
And yours might look completely different.
For you, it’s about feeling healthy again. Or waking up with energy. Or finally building the business you’ve been putting off for years. It could be a more profound connection with your partner. Or slowing down enough to enjoy the life you’ve worked so hard for.
If you could strip it all back… what’s the one thing you really want now?
In this article, I want to show you 4 hidden mindset blocks that may be stopping you from answering that question clearly. These aren’t small obstacles. They quietly drain your energy, steer your choices, and even shape the way you see yourself, without you realising it.
Notably, they often show up right when you’re ready to make a change, and right when life is asking bigger questions.
So, before you take another step toward what you think you want, make sure you read to the end. I’ll walk you through each block, explain why it appears, and provide a simple self-guided worksheet that can completely change how you move forward.
The 4 Hidden Mindset Blocks Between You and What You Want
Wanting more isn’t the issue.
The real challenge is that something inside you is quietly working against the life you say you want—and it’s happening beneath the surface.
These blocks don’t shout. They whisper.
They show up as hesitation, second-guessing, avoidance, or even busyness that keeps you stuck.
They’re easy to dismiss as “just tired” or “just not the right time.”
But over time, they wear you down.
Here are the four hidden mindset blocks that hold people back the most:
- A Lack of clarity – You’re not sure what you want, just that this isn’t it.
- Internal resistance – Fear, doubt, guilt, or habit make change feel too risky.
- Self-sabotage – You delay, distract, and overthink. You circle around your goals instead of moving toward them.
- No accountability – No one’s helping you stay honest, supported, or in motion.
Left unspoken, these blocks have quiet consequences. You start making your world smaller, without even realising it. You keep the calendar full, but nothing feels satisfying. Work becomes just “getting through.” You lower your expectations—not out of failure, but fatigue.
And worst of all?
You stop trusting your own instincts.
These blocks don’t mean you’re not capable.
They mean no one ever taught you what to do when your life outgrows your old mindset.
Let’s start with the first one.
Block 1: A Lack of Clarity
Ever feel like you’re living on autopilot?
You wake up, do the things, tick the boxes. But if someone asked what you really want now, you’d pause. Not because you don’t care, but because you’re not used to asking.
You’ve spent years being what others needed—parent, partner, provider, professional. You’ve handled the schedules, the responsibilities, and the pressure. But through all that, your own wants may have taken a backseat.
That was true for me. I’d built a solid career. Held big roles. Managed big teams. But when life got quiet—after my dad passed—I realised something uncomfortable:
I didn’t know what I wanted anymore.
It’s like driving with a fogged-up windscreen. You’re still moving, still functioning—but you can’t see where you’re going. And because you can’t see clearly, you fill the space with noise. You stay busy. You get things done. But deep down, something’s missing.
This is what psychologists call the “clarity gap.” It appears when your outer life has evolved, but your inner direction hasn’t had the space to keep pace. In fact, a study from Stanford found that only 1 in 3 adults over 45 has a clear idea of what they want for their next stage of life. Most are just trying to keep up, and the longer the gap stays, the more distant your authentic voice feels. You don’t just feel unsure—you start to question your instincts.
And that confusion spreads. You might start thinking:
- “Maybe I’ve missed my chance.”
- “Maybe I should just be grateful for what I’ve got.”
- “Maybe it’s selfish to want something more now.”
But it’s not selfish. It’s overdue.
You can’t shape what’s next if you’ve never had time to ask what fits now.
Whether you’re craving freedom, health, peace, deeper connection—or simply a slower pace—clarity starts by naming the fog.
Block 2: Internal Resistance
Ever felt stuck even after deciding to change?
You get clear on what you want. You feel ready. And then—nothing. You stall. You second-guess. You distract yourself with everything except what you said mattered.
That’s internal resistance.
For me, it showed up hard after my dad passed. I knew I couldn’t go back to the way things were. I wanted more time for family, more purpose, more ownership of how I lived and worked. But every time I got close to making a shift, I’d freeze. I’d suddenly feel unsure, even though I was sure.
That’s how resistance works. It doesn’t always scream—it whispers:
- “What if I fail?”
- “Am I too old to start again?”
- “What if I’m not good enough?”
And it’s not just about work.
It could be that it’s finally setting boundaries in a draining relationship. Or putting your health first after years of ignoring the signs. Or applying for something new and meaningful—even if the job doesn’t come with a fancy title.
Resistance isn’t weakness. It’s wiring.
When you try to move beyond the familiar—even for something better—your unconscious mind registers it as a threat. Your body says, “Better the known than the unknown.” So it slows you down.
You get busy with safe tasks. You procrastinate. You start overthinking. You might even pick a fight with someone close to you, without realising it’s your way of keeping things predictable.
You’re not the problem. You’re just wired to choose comfort, even when it no longer fits.
Everyone feels this at some point. Even people who look confident on the outside can be insecure.
What matters is learning to recognise it for what it is: not a stop sign, but a signal you’re right up against your next step.
Block 3: Self-Sabotage
You plan to go for a walk.
You mean to prep dinner.
You tell yourself you’ll book that check-up, sort the bills, or stop saying yes when you don’t mean it.
And then you don’t.
Instead, you clean out the junk drawer.
Watch three episodes.
Answer everyone else’s messages.
Scroll your phone and buy activewear instead of wearing it.
That’s self-sabotage.
Not the dramatic kind—just the everyday kind that wears you down over time.
Psychologists describe it as a set of automatic habits that quietly block progress. You don’t choose them. You default to them.
And it’s usually not about laziness. It’s about comfort. Familiarity. Avoidance dressed up as productivity.
You get busy. Distracted. Responsive. But not actually present to what matters. You keep saying you want peace, health, connection, freedom—but your energy is constantly pulled elsewhere.
I’ve lived this too. When I first tried to take time back for myself, I found myself overcommitting, fussing over small tasks, helping others… but ghosting my own priorities. Not on purpose—out of habit.
And for so many people, this is where burnout starts—not from one big crisis, but from the quiet ache of constantly putting your real needs last.
You don’t need more discipline. You need to notice what you’re doing on autopilot—and what it’s costing you.
If you’ve ever looked up from a day and thought, “Why am I still stuck?”—this could be why.
Block 4: No Accountability
You’ve been the go-to person for others. You’ve made things work without much help. So it’s easy to think, “I should be able to do this on my own.”
But here’s the truth: when no one’s walking beside you, you miss things you can’t see.
Not because you’re careless. But because we all have blind spots.
Without accountability, it’s easy to:
– Tell yourself you’re making progress… when you’re mostly just planning
– Talk yourself out of what you want… because no one’s reminding you what you said mattered
– Repeat patterns for years… because no one’s reflecting them back to you
– Abandon goals quietly… because no one notices but you
This is one of the most overlooked mindset blocks, because it hides in competence. You’ve managed before, so you assume you’ll manage again.
But growth needs feedback. And accountability isn’t about being bossed around or shamed. It’s about having someone in your corner who sees what you’re doing—and what you’re avoiding. Sometimes, that someone’s presence shifts you. You get clearer. You self-correct. You face things sooner.
That’s the power of early feedback. Of being asked the right questions at the right time. Of being seen when you’re drifting—before you’re fully off course.
I’ve seen it over and over. People make bold plans, but often slowly drift away from them. Not because they’re flaky. But because no one’s holding the thread with them. And eventually, the thread breaks.
Even I’ve slipped into this—ghosting my own goals after significant breakthroughs. Not because I didn’t care. But because I didn’t notice I was falling until I’d already stopped.
Without someone reflecting your behaviour back to you, it’s hard to change it.
And without reflection, we often choose comfort over growth, without even realising it.
If you’ve ever wondered why you start strong and then stall… it might not be about willpower. It might be about not being seen.
What’s Blocking You Right Now?
You’ve seen the four hidden mindset blocks that show up when you’re trying to reset your life in a more meaningful direction. The question now is: which one are you dealing with most right now?
Let’s recap them briefly:
Lack of Clarity
You’re not sure what you really want anymore—or you haven’t given yourself the time or space to ask. You’re on autopilot, ticking boxes, but something deeper feels off.
Internal Resistance
You get close to change, then stall. Doubt creeps in. Your brain whispers “not yet,” even when your heart says “now.” Fear, uncertainty, and second-guessing pull you back to safety.
Self-Sabotage
You get caught in habits that drain your time and energy—scrolling, overcommitting, saying yes when you mean no. You stay busy, but not on what matters.
No Accountability
You’re doing it alone. No feedback, no honest mirror. No one is asking the right questions to help you see when you’re drifting or repeating old patterns.
Each block is common. But doesn’t always show up the same way for everyone. That’s why awareness—not action—is the first step.
Try This: “Name Your Block” Exercise
This short, no-pressure reflection activity helps you:
- Spot which block is showing up for you right now
- Recognise the specific ways it plays out in your life
- Begin to get honest about what it’s costing you
You don’t need to fix anything. Just notice it.
Download the worksheet:
Take 5–10 minutes. You can write on paper, type into a doc, or even just sit with the questions. What matters is giving yourself a moment to look at what’s really happening.
Because once you can name the block, you can stop blaming yourself, and start shifting things with intention.
References
- Duhigg, C. (2012). The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do and How to Change. New York: Random House.
- Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, Fast and Slow. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
- Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York: Avery.
- Siegel, D.J. (2010). The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician’s Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.
- Rock, D. (2009). Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long. New York: HarperBusiness.
- Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones. New York: Avery.
- Goleman, D. (2006). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. New York: Bantam Books.
