Every so often, life hands us a turning point. Imagine having poured years into a high-powered, successful career, only to find yourself suddenly off that familiar path. Perhaps you took a graceful exit or were laid off from a senior role. The initial shock fades, and a mix of burnout, relief, and unsettling uncertainty remains.
“Who am I now, and what do I really want?”
This question, though uncomfortable, is the gateway to something new. Mid-career—often unfairly tagged as a crisis—can be a profound opportunity to rethink what success means and rebuild life on your terms. In fact, many who step away from careers that once consumed their identity find it can lead to self-reconnection and healing. Instead of viewing this period as a downward spiral, you can see it as a chance to realign with purpose and meaning.
The Mid-career Crossroads: Burnout as a Beginning
Feeling burnt out and empty after years of achievement is more common than you might think. Often, we tie our self-worth to our job titles and accomplishments. When that job is gone or no longer fulfilling, it can feel like losing a part of ourselves. One psychologist described how leaving a demanding career forced her to shift from an achievement-driven sense of worth to prioritising balance, joy, and connection. Her mid-career burnout, rather than an end, became an opportunity to rebuild a life with self-care and authenticity at the centre.
Take heart if you’re at this crossroads: this discomfort can spark positive change. Philosophers and psychologists have long noted that meaning is the antidote to despair. As Viktor Frankl – a psychiatrist who survived Nazi concentration camps – often reminded us (quoting Friedrich Nietzsche):
“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”
In other words, when you have a clear purpose (“a why”), you can endure the ups and downs (“the how”) of life. Mid-career is your invitation to (re)discover that “why.”
Instead of asking “What now?” in fear, you can ask “What truly matters to me?” in curiosity.
Rethinking Success: From Achievement to Fulfillment
Up to now, external markers might have defined success – promotions, salary, and industry accolades. Those can certainly feel good, but they don’t necessarily fulfil our deeper psychological needs in the long run. It’s possible to get everything you thought you wanted and still feel a void. Why? Often, it’s because we were chasing goals that weren’t aligned with what we truly need at a core level. We see this all the time: people climb to the top of the ladder only to find it is leaning against the wrong wall. One mindset coach warns, “Most people’s vision is made up of what they think they want, but not what they need.” When they achieve it, there’s no fulfilment – a pretty nightmarish scenario.
The culprit is not knowing oneself.
If we never take time to understand what is truly important to us—our values—we risk achieving someone else’s dreams instead of our own.
So, it’s time to redefine success on your terms. Rather than basing your worth solely on achievements, focus on fulfilment and growth. Modern psychology tells us that humans have innate needs for autonomy, competence, and connection – and meeting these brings genuine motivation and wellbeing. In other words, feeling free to direct your life (autonomy), getting good at something meaningful (competence), and relating to others or a cause (connection) are key ingredients for a satisfying life. Chances are your previous career satisfied some of these needs at times, but maybe others (like autonomy or a sense of purpose beyond profit) were left starving. Now, you have a chance to bring them into balance.
Take a moment to reflect on what fulfilment means to you now – it might be different than it was in your 20s. Many mid-career professionals realise they value things like family, health, creativity, or community impact more than before. As priorities shift from accumulating credentials to leaving a legacy or enjoying life, your definition of success naturally evolves. This isn’t “settling”; it’s growing. The ancient Greeks had a word, eudaimonia, meaning a life of flourishing or fulfilment through virtue and meaning (as opposed to just fleeting pleasure). Finding your purpose is about moving towards this more profound sense of happiness.
Know Thyself: Identify Your Core Values
The starting point for rebuilding your life with purpose is self-knowledge. Practically, that means clarifying your core values – the principles and priorities that matter most to you. Core values are like your internal compass. They might include things like freedom, loyalty, creativity, learning, compassion, integrity, adventure, or security. Everyone’s list is a bit different. Importantly, values are qualities of being or doing (e.g. honesty, helping others), not specific goals (like “be a VP by age 35”). They represent who you want to be, regardless of the circumstances.
Why start with values?
Research and coaching experience shows that life feels meaningful when your goals and actions align with your values. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), values are described as “guiding principles that give our lives meaning. They’re like a compass, helping us navigate challenges and decisions. When you identify your true values and set goals, honouring them, you create a sense of purpose and direction. Conversely, if you pursue goals that clash with your core values, you’ll feel internal friction, and even if you succeed outwardly, you may feel empty.
Consider this: Have you ever achieved something you worked hard for, only to feel surprisingly flat afterwards? Perhaps that goal wasn’t aligned with your authentic values – maybe it was motivated by others’ expectations or a past version of you.
It’s a common trap.
The way out is to rediscover what truly fires you up and gives you meaning. As the old saying (often attributed to Aristotle) goes, “Know thyself.” Take time to reflect and even write down answers to questions like:
- What qualities do I admire in others and strive to embody myself? (e.g. courage, generosity, wisdom)
- When have I felt most alive and proud of myself? What values was I honouring in those moments (for example, helping someone might reflect compassion or service)?
- If I were looking back at my life decades from now, what would I regret not doing or being?
These kinds of questions start unveiling your values. You might end up with a list of 5-10 core values. Circle the top 3. Those are potential pillars of your purpose.
Importantly, be honest during this process – even about the uncomfortable parts.
We all have what some call “shadow values” lurking behind our noble intentions. Shadow values are those hidden drivers we might be reluctant to admit – things like a desire for status, validation, control, or belonging. There is no judgment here; everyone has them, and they often stem from basic human needs (for recognition, security, inclusion, etc.). For example, maybe you value compassion and service (your “golden” values), but you also realise you crave approval or prestige (a “shadow” value), which has been pushing you to overwork or chase titles. Acknowledging these shadow values can be eye-opening. One source says, “Golden values are values you’re proud to show… like compassion or contribution. Shadow values, on the other hand, are the ones you hide from the world because of shame or guilt, such as belonging, attention, validation and superiority.” If you ignore them, they can silently dominate your choices; if you shine a light on them, you can consciously decide how much weight to give them or find healthier ways to meet those underlying needs. This integration makes you a more whole person and ensures your pursuit of purpose isn’t derailed by unexamined desires.
Knowing yourself – your light and shadow values – is the foundation for finding purpose. It’s like discovering the coordinates of your true north. Without this step, you might set sail in the wrong direction. With it, you gain an internal GPS for the journey ahead.
STEP 1: Envision a Values-Driven Future (Your “North Star”)
Once you have clarity on your core values, you can start crafting a vision for a life that honours those values. Think of this as designing your personal “North Star” – a guiding light for where you want to go in the next chapter of life. This isn’t about rigid five-year plans or specific job titles; it’s about imagining a fulfilling future in broad strokes:
- What are you doing?
- Who are you impacting?
- How are you feeling day to day?
Crucially, this vision should be values-driven, a.k.a. a Values-Driven-Vision.
That means it’s built upon your identified values rather than what society or your old resume might dictate. In a leadership context, experts talk about a “values-driven vision” acting like a compass in uncertainty. The same applies to your personal life: when your vision for the future is grounded in deeply held values, it resonates authentically and keeps you oriented, even when life gets tricky. One career coach outlines a process where, after clarifying values, you “outline a values-driven vision with a strategy and sustainable goals, and a concrete plan to pursue those goals.”. In practice, that could mean if one of your top values is creativity, your vision might include doing creative work each day or launching that novel or app you’ve dreamed about; if family is a top value, your vision might consist of a flexible work-life that allows plenty of time with loved ones.
Take a page from the “Rewire Your Mindset” framework, which teaches that you cannot craft a truly fulfilling vision without first knowing your values. Trying to live someone else’s dream (even a mentor’s or colleague’s) will lead you astray. But when you align with your true values, they become the fuel driving your vision, and you’re far more likely to experience total fulfilment.
A great example from that program is a couple who felt utterly lost – “boats without rudders” – until they sat down and defined their hierarchy of values and, from it, shaped a joint vision for their relationship, business, and life. That became their GPS: once their “destination” was set, they knew when to turn left or right. With a clear vision, they reported that everything started to change as their decisions aligned with where they truly wanted to go.
Think of your vision as your personal mission statement or even a short narrative. You might write a paragraph describing your ideal life 5 or 10 years from now, focusing on elements that give it meaning. Some people find it helpful to write a letter from their future self or to imagine a day in that fulfilling future. Don’t worry about the how yet; focus on the what and why. This is a creative exercise, not a contract. It’s also okay if your vision evolves – it likely will. The purpose of defining a vision is to give you a sense of direction and inspiration. As one neuroscience-focused article suggests, “write your life mission statement” focusing on where you want to go because a strong sense of purpose will propel you even if you don’t yet know all the skills or steps to get there. That sense of purpose is like the sturdy string that can thread together all your goals so they don’t just scatter like beads.
Tool: Ikigai – Finding the Intersection of Passion and Mission
One popular framework to help refine your purpose and vision is the Japanese concept of Ikigai. Loosely translated, Ikigai means “a reason to get up in the morning” – in other words, your reason for being, or what makes life worth living. Ikigai is often visualised as a Venn diagram with four overlapping circles representing
- What you love,
- What you are good at,
- What the world needs, and
- What you can be paid for.
The sweet spot where all four overlaps is your Ikigai—a balanced life pursuit that brings joy, utilises your talents, contributes to others, and sustains you financially.
The Ikigai framework combines four domains to help identify one’s purpose. Here, “ikigai” lies at the intersection of what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can get paid for. This diagram is a tool for brainstorming fulfilling career and life directions that satisfy all four aspects.
The beauty of Ikigai is that it integrates personal fulfilment with practicality and service. It’s not enough to only do what you love or only do what pays – Ikigai nudges you to find creative ways to satisfy multiple facets of meaning. For example, you might love painting and also be good at design; the world might need more beautified public spaces and perhaps is willing to fund art installations – could the intersection of those give you ideas (like becoming a freelance muralist or graphic designer for nonprofits)? The point isn’t that you must tick all four boxes immediately to explore where they converge for you. Studies on Ikigai have found it correlates with wellbeing and longevity, especially in Japanese culture, where having a sense of purpose is linked to health. While your Ikigai doesn’t have to be grand or world-changing, it usually does extend beyond self-focused interests. As one psychologist notes, Ikigai is a state of wellbeing arising from devotion to activities one enjoys, and that brings a sense of fulfilment – often involving benefit to others or society. It aligns closely with the concept of eudaimonia (the Greek “life well lived”) and even with aspects of modern positive psychology and therapy (e.g. doing things that bring enjoyment and a sense of mastery).
You can fill out your own ikigai diagram. Grab a notebook and make four lists:
- Things you love to do (regardless of skill or money – pure enjoyment and passion).
- Things you are good at (your skills, strengths, talents – including those underutilised in your old job).
- Things the world needs (problems you care about, ways you could help others or improve something, causes that resonate).
- Things you could be paid for (your opportunities to earn – whether through a job, freelancing, business, etc., using your skills).
Now, look for connections or overlaps. Where do two or three lists intersect? Are there themes repeating across lists? Maybe “mentoring others” shows up as something you love, you’re good at (since you managed teams), and the world needs (people to train the next generation) – that points toward a purposeful direction like coaching, teaching, or starting a knowledge-sharing venture. Or perhaps “problem-solving” is your strength and love, and you see the world needs problem-solvers in sustainability – maybe there’s a business or consultancy idea there. Ikigai brainstorming can reveal paths you hadn’t considered or validate your nagging hunch. Now, look for patterns or recurring themes. Sometimes, a nagging hunch you’ve had for years – like “I’ve always wanted to work with animals” or “I feel happiest mentoring junior folks” – points toward your purpose. The ikigai exercise can validate those hunches or reveal new possibilities.
The key is to ensure your vision isn’t just lofty but also authentic to you.
STEP 2: Overcoming Internal Roadblocks: Reframing Fears & Limiting Beliefs
Envisioning a meaningful future is exciting, but you might still find yourself stuck—as if one foot is on the gas and the other is on the brake. It’s frustrating: you have a destination in mind, yet something invisible holds you back. In the “Rewire Your Mindset” framework, this is described as hopping in the car, punching in your new GPS coordinates… and then slamming both the accelerator and the brake.
The wheels spin furiously — but you go nowhere. Sound familiar?
See, many high achievers think the solution is to add more — more skills, more strategies, more certifications. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.
The real shift starts when you remove what’s holding you back.
Because often, it’s not that you don’t know enough. It’s that your foot’s still on the brake.
And that’s exactly what we handle in Step 2 of the framework: Resistance Removed.
These internal roadblocks are common in mid-career transitions. Let’s identify and tackle them:
- Limiting Beliefs: These are the doom-and-gloom stories you tell yourself (often unconsciously). For example: “I’m too old to start over,” “I only have tech skills; I can’t succeed in another field,” or “It’s too late to find my passion.” First, spot these thoughts. Then, question them. Are they 100% true? What evidence actually contradicts them? (Plenty of people reinvent in mid-career or later – think of entrepreneurs, artists, or activists who hit their stride at 50+.) Replace “I’m too old” with “I have a wealth of experience to bring to something new.” It’s not cheesy positive thinking; it gives a more balanced and empowering narrative to the driver’s seat.
- Fear of Failure / Uncertainty: After a long time in a defined role, venturing into the unknown is scary. You might fear financial instability, peer judgment, or simply failing and feeling foolish. Acknowledge that fear – it’s a normal human response to leaving the comfort zone. Then, remind yourself that growth never happens without some risk. There’s a saying in psychology: feel the fear and do it anyway. This is where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers wisdom – you don’t need to eliminate fear to move forward; you just choose not to let it dictate your actions. Make space for the discomfort (maybe through mindfulness or talking it out with a confidant), and take committed action in service of your values despite it. Each small step will prove to your anxious brain that you’re not as fragile as it thinks.
- Old Identity Attachments: If you’ve been, say, a VP of Engineering for 20 years, it can be hard to let go of that identity. You might have thoughts like, “Who am I if not a [Job Title] at [Company]?” Many face This real ego hit when retiring or laid off. But here’s a reframe: Your role was never your whole identity. You still carry all your skills, knowledge, personality, and humanity with you. Instead of defining yourself by your past position, try defining yourself by your values and qualities (which persist across roles) – e.g. “I am a creative problem-solver and mentor who values learning and integrity.” That identity can manifest in countless careers or projects. It’s more adaptable. Give yourself permission to evolve. You’re not betraying your past but building on it in a new way.
- Conflicting Values (Inner Saboteurs): Sometimes, part of you has the handbrake on. Imagine you value security and adventure strongly – one side wants stability, and the other craves novelty. When in conflict, these values can paralyse decision-making (stay safe vs. take a leap). The solution is to either find a balance (e.g., pursue the new venture but with a financial safety net or phased approach) or consciously prioritise the value that takes the lead now. Also, remember those shadow values we discussed? If you secretly value others’ approval or status, that shadow might whisper, “Don’t do something too unconventional; people might judge you.” Recognise that voice, and consider: which is more critical, external approval or living true to yourself? You might need to remind your inner people-pleaser that those who truly matter will respect you more for following your heart (and those who don’t, well, that’s their issue). Bringing shadow values to light strips them of some power.
Addressing these internal barriers is a form of “top-down transformation.”
In other words, you start with mindset and identity shifts (the “top” level) and then let those flow into behaviours and results (the “downstream” effects. If you try to change your life by only altering superficial habits without handling the deep beliefs, it’s like trimming weeds without pulling the roots – they tend to grow back. By tackling the internal stuff, you’re removing the root causes of self-sabotage. Science backs this up: when you have a strong sense of meaning and purpose, your brain becomes more resilient – studies show lower stress hormones and negative emotions and more efficient brain pathways for handling emotional ups and downs. In short, doing the inner work frees you psychologically and fortifies your brain’s capacity to adapt and thrive.
STEP 3: From Insight to Action: Building Purposeful Habits
With your values identified, vision set, and inner roadblocks dismantled, the stage is set to take action. This is where many get stuck in endless introspection. Don’t let the pursuit of a “perfect” purpose paralyse you.
Clarity comes from engagement, not just thought.
But here’s the truth: most habits don’t work — at least not the way we’re taught. Because most habits are built around pressure and performance, not meaning.
That’s why in Step 3 of the ‘Rewire Your Mindset’ framework, we shift the focus to Heart-Centred Habits — habits anchored in what matters most to you. It’s not about forcing change. It’s about creating routines you actually want to return to.
When you fall in love with the process — not just the goal — progress becomes natural. It sticks even when motivation dips, because the action itself feels right.
It’s time to translate your insight into daily life — through habits, experiments, and micro-moves that align with your core. That’s where real traction begins.
Start small and consistent.
Think of 2-3 daily or weekly habits that will move you toward the vision or make you feel more of your values right now. For example, if one part of your vision is to improve your wellbeing and regain energy (value: health), a habit could be a 30-minute morning walk or a yoga class twice a week. Suppose your vision involves writing a book or starting a blog (value: creativity, contribution). In that case, a habit might be writing for 20 minutes every morning before checking email. Value family? Consider committing to device-free dinners or dedicated time with your kids on weekends.
Such habits might seem small, but they are powerful because they are “heart-centred habits.” That means they’re driven by what deeply matters to you, not by external pressure. You’re not exercising because a magazine said so; you’re doing it because you envision a vibrant life and being around for your grandkids someday. This internal motivation is much more sustainable. Instead of draining willpower, you’ll likely find that these habits start to fuel you.
They create positive momentum.
Be mindful to also identify and gradually replace any negative habits that have crept in during your burnout phase. It’s easy to self-medicate stress with things like doom-scrolling social media, eating junk, drinking too much, or binge-watching Netflix nightly. Those might provide temporary comfort but ultimately clash with the purposeful life you want. Pick one to work on (for instance, limit Netflix to a couple of episodes and then read something inspiring or go to bed earlier to prioritise rest). Swap numbing habits for nurturing habits that align with your values.
A helpful strategy is habit stacking: attach a new habit to an existing routine. For example, right after you have your morning coffee (existing routine), you spend 10 minutes journaling about your goals for the day (new habit). This leverages your brain’s tendency to hook into established patterns. Also, celebrate small wins. When honouring your new habit, give yourself a mental high-five or track it on a habit app or journal. Our brains love a sense of progress.
Remember, the goal of habits isn’t to create a rigid, packed schedule (you’re seeking balance, after all). It ensures that your day-to-day life gradually reflects your values and vision. Bit by bit, you transition from the old chapter (which might have been overrun by other people’s priorities or mindless busyness) to a new chapter where your time and energy go to what matters most. It’s fine to start with just a few changes and build from there. Consistency beats intensity. As these purposeful habits compound, you’ll notice tangible changes: more energy, a sense of progress, growing confidence, and glimpses of the meaning and joy you seek. You’re no longer just dreaming about a purposeful life – you’re living it in micro ways each day.
STEP 4: Support and Connection: You’re Not Alone in This Journey
Significant life changes are hard to do solo. The good news is, you don’t have to. Seeking support isn’t weakness — it’s strategy. And in the ‘Rewire Your Mindset’ framework, that strategy is Step 4: Support for Success.
When you’re caught in your own head, it’s easy to miss what’s obvious to someone else. A good support system offers what you can’t give yourself: perspective. It helps you step back, challenge old assumptions, and identify blind spots you’ve been tripping over for years.
It’s also where real strategy starts. Not just more ideas, but direction — the kind that fits your life, your energy, and your goals. Someone to ask the right questions, test your thinking, and spot the patterns holding you back.
You don’t need a guru. You need a sounding board. A mirror. A sparring partner who wants what you want — and knows how to help you get there.
Psychologist Erik Erikson called it Generativity vs. Stagnation — the tug-of-war many mid-career professionals feel. You’re wired to contribute, to grow, to matter. But that’s not a solo sport. Whether it’s the people you help or those who support you (or both), embracing connection is what keeps you moving.
Consider assembling your “support team.” This could include:
- Friends/Peers: Identify a few friends or ex-colleagues who get it—perhaps those also considering career shifts or who value personal growth. Share your goals with them. Meet up or check in regularly. You’ll motivate each other and also have a safe space to vent and brainstorm.
- Mentors/Coaches: Sometimes, an outside perspective from someone experienced can be invaluable. A career or life coach specialising in mid-career transitions can provide structure (exercises, accountability, feedback). If coaching isn’t accessible, a mentor figure or simply someone you admire can serve a similar role. Don’t be afraid to reach out – people often feel honoured to be asked for guidance. Even a handful of conversations with a wise mentor can illuminate blind spots and boost your confidence.
- Family/Significant Others: Include your close family in the loop about your goal. Sharing your “new” dreams might feel vulnerable, but having your partner or family understand your why means they can encourage you and celebrate your progress. It also helps set boundaries—for instance, if you need an hour undisturbed each evening to work on your online course, your family knows why it’s essential; they’re more likely to support that time.
- Community/Networks: Look for groups of like-minded individuals. This could be a Meetup group for entrepreneurs, a local class or workshop (anything from a coding boot camp to a meditation retreat, depending on your focus), or online communities (LinkedIn groups, subreddits about career change, etc.). Surrounding yourself with others on a purpose-driven journey normalises the experience. You realise you’re not “crazy” or alone in wanting more out of life. Plus, networking in new circles could open unexpected doors – a volunteer group might lead to a job opportunity, and a workshop might spark collaboration. Stay open to serendipity.
Also, consider the case for therapy or counselling if you’re struggling with the emotional weight of this transition. A skilled therapist can help process grief (yes, leaving a former identity or dealing with job loss involves grief), manage anxiety, and rebuild self-esteem. One mid-career professional shared that confiding in a trusted, compassionate person – and hearing words of understanding – “lifted the weight of guilt and shame” and permitted her to make a much-needed change. Sometimes, we need that outside validation that putting ourselves first for once is okay.
Lastly, when it comes to support, reciprocity is magic. As you receive help, look for ways to give help. Could you mentor someone more junior in your old field? Or volunteer a bit of your time for a cause you care about? Start a blog to share your journey, which might inspire others. Generativity (giving back) is deeply fulfilling in mid-career and often enhances your sense of purpose. It reminds you that you have valuable things to offer. It shifts focus from inward stress to outward impact. Plus, it’s good karma – the more you support others, the more support flows back to you.
Embrace the Journey: Purpose as a Practice, Not a Destination
Finding your purpose in mid-career is not like finding a magic key that instantly unlocks eternal bliss. It’s more like learning to navigate by your own North Star: it gives you direction and meaning, but you still have to walk the path one step at a time. There will be adjustments, detours, and surprises. That’s okay. In fact, that’s good – it means you’re growing.
A few parting reminders as you embark:
- Stay Curious and Open: Treat this as an exploration. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Try things – take a course in that field you’re curious about, start that side hustle on weekends, or initiate that project you always thought your company should do (who says you can’t do it independently now?). Some experiments will click, others won’t, and that’s valuable information. Often, purpose is found at the intersection of multiple experiences.
- Practice Adaptability: The world is changing, and so are you. Maybe your purpose in this season of life is not one singular mission but a combination of roles – consultant by day, musician by night, community volunteer on weekends. And a few years from now, it might morph again. That’s the beauty of it. You’re crafting a life that’s true to you, not adhering to a one-size-fits-all template. If an opportunity or interest ignites your enthusiasm and aligns with your values, go for it, even if it wasn’t in your original plan. Your vision can evolve.
- Balance Purpose with Pleasure: Purpose is powerful, but it doesn’t mean every moment must be optimised for meaning. It’s okay to have fun and relax. In fact, play, rest, and pleasure often rejuvenate you and provide creative sparks that feedback into purposeful work. Think of life as having seasons and rhythms – there’s time for deep work and time for leisure. A balanced life is part of a meaningful life for most people (especially those recovering from burnout who forgot what free time feels like).
- Beware of Perfectionism: It’s easy for high-achievers to turn even a quest for purpose into a perfectionistic task (“Am I doing my best life?!”). Give yourself grace. Some days, you’ll feel on top of the world; others, you might doubt everything. When setbacks happen (and they will), remember that progress is rarely linear. You might take two steps forward and one step back – that’s still a net gain. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend.
- Health is Wealth: None of this is possible if you run yourself into the ground again. Prioritise your mental and physical health at every step. Purpose doesn’t flourish in a body and mind that are exhausted. So make those doctor appointments, continue that exercise routine, meditate, pray, or journal – whatever keeps you grounded. As you find meaning, you’ll likely notice improvements in health markers, too. Fascinating research has shown that having a sense of purpose is linked to better sleep, less risk of depression, and even longevity. One study found that older adults with high life purpose were 2.4 times more likely to remain free of Alzheimer’s than those with low purpose. Purpose literally nourishes your brain and body.
Mid-career is not an end; it can be a powerful new beginning. You can leverage all your hard-earned experience, wisdom, and, yes, scars to create a life that feels authentic and fulfilling. It’s about designing success on your own terms, finding meaning in big and small things, and waking up with a sense of “I know why I’m doing this.” It’s never too late to realign with what matters. Start where you are, use what you have, and trust that every intentional step you take shapes a narrative you’ll be proud of. As Frankl said, “Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” In other words, when you infuse your days with purpose – your purpose – you become remarkably resilient and alive.
You’ve got this. Here’s to your journey of rebuilding and renewal.
PS. If that message hits home, you’re invited to schedule a complimentary 1:1 strategy session to explore whether the REWIRE Your Mindset framework — or another tailored approach — could be just what you’re looking for to reinvent yourself and take your career and life to the next level.
| Step | What It Involves | Try This… |
| 1. Reflect on Core Values | Identify what truly matters to you at this stage of life. This is your internal compass for fulfilment. Consider both “golden” values and any “shadow” values influencing you. | Journal about peak moments when you felt fulfilled – what values were at play? Take a values assessment or write down your top 5 values and why each is important. |
| 2. Craft a Values-Driven Vision | Envision your ideal future aligned with those values. This “North Star” gives you direction and motivation. Make sure it’s your vision, not defined by others’ expectations. | Write a personal mission statement or a vivid description of “a day in my ideal life.” You can also try the Ikigai exercise to find the intersecting passions, talents, needs and opportunities. |
| 3. Identify Internal Roadblocks | Recognise fears, limiting beliefs, or conflicting values that might put the brakes on progress (e.g., fear of failure, “I’m too old,” need for others’ approval). Do the inner work to reframe or resolve these issue. | List your top 3 fears or negative thoughts. For each, write a more realistic and empowering counter-statement. Discuss them with a friend or coach. Consider mindfulness or therapy techniques to handle anxiety. Remind yourself why your goal matters to you – let that purpose outweigh the fear. |
| 4. Take Purposeful Action (Habits) | Align your daily life with your values and vision through consistent habits and small steps. “Heart-centered habits” fuel you emotionally. Replace self-sabotaging routines with nurturing ones. | Choose 2-3 new habits to start (morning run, writing, family time, learning, etc.). Use habit stacking (e.g., after lunch, take a walk). Track your progress and celebrate wins. Also, pick one habit to reduce that no longer serves you (limit social media, etc.) and swap it with something healthier. |
| 5. Seek Support and Adjust | Don’t go it alone – build a support system of friends, mentors, coaches, or peers for accountability and encouragement. Stay flexible and iteratively refine your path as you learn more about yourself. | Join a group or community related to your interest or career shift. Schedule regular check-ins with a “accountability buddy.” Be willing to pivot – treat each challenge as feedback, not failure. Over time, update your vision and goals as needed. |
Through these steps, you’ll engage in a continual discovery, action, and refinement process. Finding purpose is not a one-time task but a lifelong practice of living aligned with what matters most. Each step you take builds momentum, and before you know it, you’ll look around and realise that you are indeed living a life of greater autonomy, balance, and meaning.
References
- Swales, S. (n.d.) Midlife Reclaimed. Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/midlife-reclaimed (Accessed: 30 April 2025).
- Kumar, A. (n.d.) Meaning and Purpose Protect the Brain. Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mental-matrix/202301/meaning-and-purpose-protect-the-brain (Accessed: 30 April 2025).
- McKay, S. (n.d.) Your Life’s Purpose & Brain Health. Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-healthy-brain/202307/your-life-s-purpose-and-brain-health (Accessed: 30 April 2025).
- PositivePsychology.com (n.d.) Ikigai: Finding Purpose in Life. Available at: https://positivepsychology.com/ikigai/ (Accessed: 30 April 2025).
- Hopkins, R. (n.d.) Using ACT Values and Goals to Build a Meaningful Life. Utah Center for Evidence Based Treatment (UCEBT). Available at: https://www.ucebt.com/articles/using-act-values-and-goals (Accessed: 30 April 2025).
- Stapleton, D. (2020) Shadow Values: What Drives You in the Dark. HRM Online. Available at: https://www.hrmonline.com.au/section/opinion/shadow-values-what-drives-you-in-the-dark/ (Accessed: 30 April 2025).
- Swart, T. (n.d.) Write Your Life Mission, Not Goals. Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-neuroscience-leadership/202108/write-your-life-mission-not-goals (Accessed: 30 April 2025).
- Reznick, L. (n.d.) Midlife Purpose & Brain Wiring. Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/heartfelt-parenting/202303/purpose-midlife-and-your-brain-s-neural-wiring (Accessed: 30 April 2025).
- Verywell Health (n.d.) Erikson’s Psychosocial Stages Summary. Available at: https://www.verywellhealth.com/eriksons-stages-of-psychosocial-development-2795740 (Accessed: 30 April 2025).
